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stop counterculturalism now

A Graduate Student Avoiding his Ph.D., Being Productive,
or Being Creative and Useful in Any Real Way...

May 8, 2005

Friday, October 21

I want to just write my thoughts
In the sand
I want your name in the sand
And I want you to never know

The wave could come fast or slow
It could douse my thoughts with surf
Or it could be brittle dry
As it washes your name away

And I have to ask, Why is it always water?
I just know the water can wash away the words
But leave us what we need
Indelibly present

I should want to let you go
I should want your happiness
And nothing else
Unselfishly

But really, I have a secret:
I just want to see and hear and hold you
And I want you to make it all better
When I write your name in the sand
I want it to leave your love for me


I cannot understand
Why it fills me with joy
When I see your name
The sand seems so cruel


Because all I really want
Is to be a better person
Back in the past
With you
When being a good person mattered

And I am afraid you will never understand how much this hurts
And I'll never understand
How to let you go

And there is no way I can see you and hear you
And not know love for you
It mutes my heart
Without washing me away

I want to just write my thoughts
In the sand
I want your name in the sand
And I want you to never know
posted by Brent, 1:17:00 AM

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